AfricanKelli

I’ve been promising myself I’d return to the politics I started this blog to discuss. At some time during the last year, I’ve become consumed with sewing and knitting and baking and have misplaced my penchant for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, all the ways Jacque Chirac is just wrong, the fact that I love living in a “blue” town in such a “red” state.

This morning I ran with two new guys at my gym. We took off, running on the dusty embankment of the canals (think
Watts, more than Venice) and not 100 yards into the 4 mile run did one of the men start on a political diatribe. By the time we made it back to the gym I’d been figuratively cornered on my religion, my opinion on homosexuality, what did I think of James Dobson and why shouldn’t Harriet Miers be a Supreme Court nominee?

I didn’t have a hard time answering any of these questions, but it seemed his prodding was just bait for a long-winded lecture on the benefits of conservative life. I was ready to use my New Balance as a weapon of mass destruction by the time we’d returned to the gym, which I was so pleased to see, I nearly wrapped my arms around its stuccoed facade and shouted praise to Mr. Treadmill for the solidarity of his invention. 

Did I mention my new habits are knitting and sewing? Did that somehow get construed as smoking crack and high-risk sex? I am not exactly the poster child for a über liberal lifestyle, one in need of such a right-wing talking to. I nearly told him to eat shit, but the fact that I was smoking him on the run was satisfaction enough. It was even sweeter when he came into the gym 10 minutes later and I was on the treadmill getting in more mileage in at a faster pace. He may be all righteous and “sure he’s going to heaven” but I’m sure he’s a damn slow runner with a giant mouth.

As for the answers to those questions … I think faith is a private affair people live in many different ways. My opinion on homosexuality? It’s pretty much the same as my opinion on heterosexuality. James Dobson is a nut and Harriet Miers is like hiring the Taco Bell drive-through guy to be chef at Nobu. No thank you.

See, now aren’t we glad I returned to politics? You miss the knitting and fashion, don’t you?

~K

Every news source I look at this morning is screaming, “Al Qaeda threatens more violence” and it makes me shake with anger. It makes me want to say, “Bring it.”

As if it hasn’t already been brought.

What these crazy men don’t realize (besides occasionally trimming and washing their beards might be a good idea) is that when they make threats, they simply anger those Americans and Europeans who truly want this whole thing to end. Those who want peace. Because let me tell you, I was a sheep! I’ll be the first to say it. I got sucked in to the 9-11 propaganda. I let President Bush convince me that Saddam had something to do with the
Twin Towers and I said it with the rest of the American clones — Let’s Roll! Well guess what?  They lied. And they got Colin Powell to inadvertently lie and they made some of the greatest men we have in government look like fools (Powell and Blair stand at the top that list). And I didn’t vote for this administration. Neither did the other 48% of our country. (Well, those who voted anyway, but that’s a different rant for a different day.)

So Al Qaeda, listen up. If you want us to leave Saudi Arabia — which I understand is a huge sticking point for you — then give us a logical reason to do so. Because right now, all you are doing is making the pacifists question their politics. And as we know, the US has aptly been compared to a puppy. Piss us off and we bite first and ask questions later. I don’t want any more violence. I don’t want our troops in danger and I don’t want to see any more footage of women and children hurt in Iraq, Afghanistan, Madrid, London and the US.

Your suicide bombers are doing way more damage than we are. The New York Times figured out you are killing way more of your own people than the soldiers and foreign targets you are aiming for. Knock it off. This only fuels the 52% of our country who support this administration. You are giving them reason to say, “See! We told you! Look at how awful they are!”

Your intimidation is only working against you. If you want to get your point across, get a well-spoken representative to approach the United Nations with a platform for change. Americans and Europeans are listening. We want a solution. We want to know what is fueling your anger.

We want peace.

But I’ll warn you now, if your discontent comes from Euro-American liberties, including religious freedom, you’re toast. Because fanaticism, similar to what you use to explain your violent actions, is alive and well in our country too. President Bush wants a crusade, and if you continue on this path, he may just get it.

~AK

My friend Alma and I had planned on spending “holiday” in Thailand this December. We’ve been trying to convince our conservative families that two women traveling alone in a tsunami ravaged district wasn’t a terrible idea. We told them to ignore the Hollywood movies. She’s not Claire Danes and I am certainly not that Kate girl. If anything, it would be more like Laverne and Shirley hitting the Golden Triangle.

We wanted to be there for the tsunami anniversary, to take mosquito nets and water filters and compassion to an area of the world still suffering even though it is once again out of the limelight. We were going to pack our public health knowledge next to our patience and document our quick trip for an international health magazine when we got back.

Then I read this, and frankly, I’m not going anywhere. I’m no travel chicken. I love the adventure of being in a foreign place with nothing more than a few dollars and smile to find a hotel room, a good meal and a safe taxi driver. I enjoy the challenge of bartering in open markets and ordering off of menus that are written in script. I like packing a small backpack full of used clothing I plan on leaving behind with people who need it more than I do.

I know that I could have an excellent time in Thailand or Bali, but until they get their judicial system in line to prevent these sorts of cases, they’ll more than likely miss my tourism dollars. I can’t believe how fictional this story seems or the rage Ms. Corby must be feeling. Can you imagine spending 20 years in prison for something you didn’t do? Now, take away the comforts of spending that time in an American prison (where she would go for maybe a year in the US) and make it a damp, dark, awful Indonesian prison. Maybe I’m letting Hollywood get the best of my imagination, but I can’t think of much worse.

~AfricanKelli

In celebration of President’s Day, I’ve thought about what I would say if I had the chance to meet Mr. Bush. I’m sure at the moment, I’d be overwhelmed, star struck and instantly wondering if my somewhat republican, more so democratic ways are right.  I think I’d be temporarily blinded by the fabulousness (or not) that is the tiny man in the presidential-seal emblazoned black
Texas boots.

But I am also sure I’d get over it. Quickly. Then I’d remember what makes me so angry about his governance of our nation.

1. President Bush, do you honestly think drilling in the artic and standing as one of the only (if not the only) G8 nation to stay out of the Kyoto protocol? (I love the way you don’t even address these, but instead have your henchmen on the hill do it for you.) For the love of God, half of all African nations have signed this document and we can’t? They have so much less control of the fossil fuels available for use. You are selling out to big business and my children and grandchildren will pay for it. Knock it off.

2. Pay attention to what is happening in Sudan. There are 1 million refugees waiting for your help. Europe is there, working toward peace. Where are we?

3. Don’t send Condi to do your dirty work. Don’t make her say that Iran isn’t our problem, but isn’t our friend. If that is the case, and gulp, we hope it isn’t because WE DO NOT WANT TO FIGHT IN ANOTHER MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRY, then be the leader of the free world and tell your citizens this. Don’t make us hear it on CNN from your official bitch. (Sorry Condi, but it doesn’t seem you are going to earn your keeps unless you cut the puppet strings and find your own voice. We can see Dick Cheney and little “W” standing behind the Wizard’s curtain and it is disturbing.)

4. Stop pushing your constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages. We don’t want the government in our bedrooms. Trust me. And perhaps you should consider lightening up and making your bedroom more fun. Laura looks bored.

5. Stop fucking around with my reproductive rights. Don’t even joke about it, or I will march on the mall. And I will bring millions of friends. And we’ll plan it so we’re all on our cycles at the same time, so were an extra pain in your ass.

6. Consider renaming Donald Rumsfeld’s position, Secretary of Offense. And while you’re at it, feel free to call Condi Pinocchio.

 7. Congrats on getting your daughters through college with only minor arrests. Bravo. They actually looked really nice at your inaugural. I’ve got my fingers crossed that their life in the public eye doesn’t ruin them. JFK Jr. was successful. I’ve got high hopes for the twins.

Hope you had a wonderful day in Europe, Sir. Give me a call if you want to chat.

Cheers,

Africankelli

“President Bush pledged to seek ‘freedom in all the world’ as the surest path to peace in an era of terrorism across the globe.”

     -NY Times

In my morning habit of skimming a bunch of national and international (thank you BBC) websites for my daily hit of news, I’ve come across several items that I can’t help but share. Their order will make absolutely no sense. Bear with me, the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet.

1. This one should make you think twice about having children. For the love of Jesus Almighty, I didn’t know that they could get this big.

2. I love Berkeley. I love Barbara Boxer for standing up for her beliefs and not voting for the Patriot Act and for being a feminist. She is extreme, but she doesn’t care what anyone else thinks and I dig it.

3. Today, I challenge you to replace the words “freedom” and “liberty”  with “global poverty”  during the inauguration speeches. They are much more fitting.

Happy W Day to all, and to all a shaky next four years.

Cheers,

Africankelli

I am not entirely republican, nor entirely democrat. Most of my views fall in both camps – I’m one of those blasted wishy-washy issues voters. I am educated and I pay attention. I am Karl Rove’s worst nightmare. (I am a strong proponent of a woman’s right to choose and stem cell research. Please do not send me hate mail. I am also a strong proponent of the first amendment. May you all have your own opinions and use them when you vote. Long live democracy.)

Perhaps that I why I am appalled that $40 million of private donations is being spent this week in
Washington D.C. to celebrate the inauguration of a president who has already been inaugurated once. On CNN this weekend, they did a cost analysis to see what $40 million could provide. I may be a bit off on the numbers, but it was something to the effect of 200 humvees with the appropriate shielding for our troops, healthcare for 22 million children who are tsunami victims, or a large down payment on the national debt. (I’m sure Fox News was running segments on how fiscally responsible the event will be.)

I want my president to be a hero. I want him (or better yet, her) to be someone I look up to and strive to be more like. I am saddened and disappointed in the president’s continued choice to have this gala. It is at the expense of world. This money could do wonders elsewhere. And just imagine how he would be lauded if he said, “No, we are going to take these funds, at the thanks of the donors, and split it evenly among those countries hit by the tsunami. The money will be used in their health care facilities. It will go to rebuild schools. Instead of seven (SEVEN) balls, we will have one good ole’ Texas bbq on the White House lawn.”

Hell, he could even wear his presidential-logoed cowboy boots to the bbq. He doesn’t need no stinkin’ ball or formal inauguration for that.

President Bush, make me proud of this country and of you. Look beyond your bubbled world — past the plush life of being a dignitary’s son, past the life in the shadows of oil wells, Halliburton and Enron, past your days of avoiding war and barely scraping through Yale. Imagine your public approval ratings if you stood up and said, “Our country is just leaving a recession. Most Americans are burdened with credit card debt. Our Social Security system is on the verge of collapse. To spend this money would be insulting to my own people and those abroad who are in much greater need.”

Come one, Georgie. Let’s get these four years off on the right boot, err… foot.

~Africankelli

“We are making enemies faster than we can kill them.”

Dear Margaret,

I am shaking in anger and sorrow at your death. I want to lash out, to investigate, to punish. I want to broadcast to the world that this — THIS – is why 52% of Americans want war. The ridiculous kidnapping, the mistreatment, the torture, the murder. These acts fuel hatred. They add kindling to the dwindling fire of pro-war sentiment in the country. They make me scream.

Last night, I prayed for you again. I’ve done so regularly since you were taken. I pray your husband may eventually find peace. I pray that your family may be able to forgive your captors and see them for the frightened fools that they are. I pray that you are watching over
Iraq, leading others to continue the humanitarian work you so loved.

Margaret, I am so sorry we never had the chance to meet. I could have learned so much from you. You are who I want to be: a selfless peaceful leader who fights for social justice.

You will never be forgotten. May you rest in peace.

~AK

Well, it is official. Kerry conceded and 48% of the country let out a cry of sheer terror. Then we looked around at our neighbors, our friends, our parents, our spouse/significant other and thought, “Woa. I don’t know you at all.”

I am optimistically cheerful this morning. No republican in the White House is going to get me down. Mainly because deep down in my heart,  Kerry and Bush are similar men. Neither have the much needed salve to heal the Iraqi situation. It isn’t really being called a war anymore, even though it seems like everything went haywire once we decided the war was over.

So, here is to President Bush. Congratulations on your win. May you have four years of excellent health, time to learn, time to enjoy this miraculous experience. And if you get a chance, could you answer these questions for me?

My imaginary interview with good ole’ “W:”

1. Are you going to shake hands and make up with Chirac? Are you going to restore our country’s place in the UN and the rest of the world? I like traveling and it hasn’t been easy for the last few years. By the way, the Philippines love you and Ireland thinks you are an idiot. Subsequently, the Irish love Bill Clinton. Go figure.

2. Are you going to clearly explain to your public why we went to Iraq? I don’t know. And I read a lot. I really, really want to know. Those WMDs aren’t popping up. I realize it is a big country and they may have been sold off to the Syrians or their Lebanese puppets, but nonetheless, dude, why are we there?

3. What’s up with you and these conversations with God? I’m all for prayer, but do you really think that you have a one-on-one speaking relationship with el Jefe? That’s what you said in the NYTimes Magazine, here.

That is a bit frightening for us folk who believe in a separation of church and state. You know, that little clause in that really old piece of paper on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Oh, come on Georgie, you remember Lincoln. Yes! The guy with the big hat. Anyway, go check out his giant statue not too far from your house and let us all know how you are going to reel back your fundamentalist Christian attitude and bring a level-headed religious equality to the next four years of presidential policy. I’m Christian, and man, the stuff you believe was seriously never taught at my church.

4. As president, I realize that everyone thinks you are supposed to be able to solve every problem. This isn’t realistic, unless you are chummy with God. Then, who knows? Regardless, I want to know what you are going to do about two major issues that dominate my career:

• The undocumented immigrant issue in border states, and

• The rampage of AIDS in the developing world. (UNAIDS predicts 100 million people will be dead by 2010. That’s only six years away, sir.)

These may seem unsurmountable, but consider this: you are “the most powerful man in the world.” If not you, than who? Millions of lives are at stake on these two issues alone. Many of us would pay higher taxes if you could provide a reasonable and thoughtful solution. Talk to Mr. Powell. That guy seems to have his ducks in line. And maybe even Condi. She is a smart cookie, whether he is super conservo or not. Keep these two in your cabinet at all cost. The other old white guys can go. You’ve got their perspective covered in the ever-so-scary Wizard of Oz, Senor Cheney. (Mr. “Don’t talk about my lesbian daughter. It embarrasses me, John Kerry!)

5. Most of all, Mr. President, please figure out a way to make me proud of this country again. Give us something to be hopeful for. Because right now, it seems the whole world is looking at us with disgust, as the obese bully on the playground that continues to throw sand in the eyes of the disabled kids. One day, one of those other kids is going to stand up to us. If we don’t change our behavior now, our Goliath ass may hit the dust.

Good luck, “W.” You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you.

~Africankelli